


O.g squad

by Gracefanfics



Category: Ironman, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Extremis Pepper Potts, Friendship, Iron Family, Memes, Related to my house spouse work, Suggestive Themes, groupchat, rhodey is tonys co-parent to the bots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-12 10:30:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12957306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gracefanfics/pseuds/Gracefanfics
Summary: A group chat between Tony, Pepper, and Rhodey.Happy lurks in the chatNatasha makes an appearance





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not edited  
> Characters not mine  
> Please note that I doubt kale pineapple smoothies actually exist . I grabbed a random website as a fake source.

Tony's phone:  
Pepper: the ultimate goddess  
Rhodey: honey boo platypus father of my children light of life  
Happy: another friend?????

Rhodes phone:  
Tony: mamma bear  
Pepper: ally  
Happy: mama bear's body guard 

Peppers phone:  
Rhodes: Problematic UNFAV  
Tony: problematic fav  
Happy: happy

Happy:  
Tony:boss  
Pepper:super boss  
Rhodes:Emergency contact

Tony mass texts about everything  
Rhodey sends memes and reactions to the base gossip of his kids  
Pepper sends cute/insane stark employee updates+complaining about gross men in business  
Happy has the group on mute and rarely ever replies. But sometimes he'll lurk in the chat. 

 

The chat starts when mobile phone first became a thing. Then it was just between tony and Rhodey. Then pepper was added. Years after she started to work for him. Happy was added at extreme protest. 

////////  
Og squad 

Ironman: sooo apparently Natasha's trying to set the team up on dates?  
Ironman: the super spy was apparently inspired by peps and mine cuteness.  
Ironman: she said Thor and I get a pass  
Ironman: the term she used was: house spouse?  
Ironman: pepper I'm apparently your kept man  
Ironman: I have no jobs  
Ironman: and zero responsibilities  
Ironman: none  
Ironman: Clint thinks this is like the worst thing in the world?  
Ironman: but he has a black eye and the scary spy lady is gloating and passing around a notebook for preference  
Ironman: so I guess she won that argument?  
Ironman: also kale pineapple smoothie? It's a keeper.  
Ironman: actually really love it.  
Ironman: maybe I'll have it every morning now. 

Honey bear light of my life…: hey boo get the backstory on that. It'll make gold base gossip  
Honey bear light of my life…: also stop drinking nasty ass smoothies. It's gross

Ironman: it's healthyyy honey bear.  
Ironman: active.com said so 

 

Honey bear light of my life…: it's gross and the internet lies to you tones. It lied. 

Goddess: tony. 

Ironman: yesss pepper my love?

Goddess: you're still making the rounds with the si employees right? 

Goddess: because I have felt with ten pigs today and I have another 16 meetings today 

Goddess: and you know how the rounds boost company morale and a happy company base is a loyal one. 

Goddess: tony?

Honey bear light of my life…: oh damn my boi in troubleeeee

Goddess: tony stark if you are avoiding my messages. 

Goddess: JARVIS connect tony 

Ironman: this is Natasha. Stark chucked his phone at me and ran screaming out of the room that he was late five minutes ago. 

Goddess: oh. Good. Thanks Natasha. 

Honey bear light of my life…: 50 bucks says he forgets to change out of his workshop™ outfit into a presentable human outfit™

Ironman: he was in a and shirt and covered in grease when he left. 

Honey bear light of my life…: called it 

Goddess: I don't even care. Si employees can just deal. R&D won't even care


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcanon that everyone in the ironfamily is a hot mess but like in different ways. Tony's a wreck emotionally and doesn't know how to cook or sleep. Pepper looks like a functioning adult but she's actually a workaholic and also can't cook. Rhodes is a mess because he craves the adrenaline and spends way too much time looking at memes. 
> 
> Pepper and tony cooking together is the worst combination one can hope for. They get distracted ™ and don't coordinate what they are doing. It ends with the kitch on fire every time. 
> 
> These numbers were pulled out of nowhere. Rhodes come from all the times he was like yes! Tony's insane idea is something we should do. And it ended badly. (But it was so much fun)

Rhodes phone: o.g chat 

Mama bears bodyguard: is the competition between who's more of a hot mess still going on? If so, I would like to submit evidence for both sides. 

Mama bears bodyguard: sent a picture 

Attached: picture of a tony and pepper. Both looking like zombies. pepper with flower stuck to one side of her face glowing orange and tony whose gesturing to the on fire stove with egg in his hair. 

Rhodes: uM 

Rhodes: if you are taking pictures instead of helping PUTTING OUT THE FIRE 

Mama bears bodyguard: whom do you take me for? JARVIS put it out. 

Mama bears bodyguard: sent a picture 

Attached: the same scene but now literally everything in the kitchen is covered in white foam. 

Rhodes: sent picture 

Attached: Kermit the frog biting his nails 

Rhodes: me @ the both of them 

Rhodes: what even happened??? 

Mama bears bodyguard: they tried to cook. Together.

Rhodes: wHaT THe FuCk 

Rhodes: isn't that against the friendship rules? Pretty sure we banned the both of them cooking together five years ago.

Rhodes: in not mad I'm just disappointed 

Rhodes: why do you gotta betray me like this? @mama bear 

Rhodes: pepper I expected better 

Mama bear: in our defense we got distracted 

Ally: I had a 90 hour work week. Tony hasn't slept in 3 days 

Ally: it seemed like a good idea at the time 

Rhodes: wHaT THe FuCk 

Mama bear: oops we have an audience

Ally sent an image 

Attached: most of the avengers crowding in the kitchen doorway. Looking horrified. 

Rhodes: thanks happy. I'm going to add it to both their piping hot mess ™ tally 

Mame bear: wait you actually have kept count honey bunches? 

Rhodes: of course. Tones you're at 65321 tallies. Pepper your at 50400

Ally: and what are you at?

Rhodes: excuse? I am an actual functioning adult? 

Ally: ...you HELPED tony with at least have of those indents 

Mamabear: 60405

Mamabear: turnabout my preciousss is fair play


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pepper is virgina, her real name, in her phone
> 
> Rhodey is problematic UNFAV

Peppers phone: o.g squad

Problematic FAV: pepper help rhodey has a pictures from our teen years with a baby dum-e and something funny is happening in my chest. I'm probably dying. In closed below is my last will and testimony. 

Problematic FAV: sent a document. 

Problematic UNFAV: BOIIIIII 

Problematic UNFAV: first off. This is the group chat so check yourself. 

Problematic UNFAV: second that stupid robot child IS MY SON

Problematic UNFAV: I helped raised that child 

Problematic UNFAV: I BLED TO RAISE THAT CHILD 

Problematic UNFAV: THIRD WE HAVE FOUR CHILDREN TOGETHER 

Problematic UNFAV: FOUR 

Problematic UNFAV: YOU ARE THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN 

Problematic UNFAV: FIVE YOU EXIST AND MY HEART DOES THIS 

Problematic UNFAV: sent a photo

(Insert heart picture)

Problematic UNFAV: we are heterosexual life partners for life

Problematic UNFAV: we have the original bromamce 

Problematic UNFAV: they invented the word bromamce to describe your place in my life 

Problematic UNFAV : and you come into my house

Problematic UNFAV: and doubt that I would keep pictures of all our times together? 

Problematic UNFAV: in front of my salad? 

Problematic UNFAV: BOI

Problematic UNFAV: you know I love you. 

Virgina: wow rhodey I knew you loved my boyfriend but I didn't know you had married him. 

Virgina: how dare you have the wedding without me 

Virgina: we had an arrangement 

Problematic UNFAV: yahh...your relationship isn't at marriage level yet

Problematic UNFAV: I just couldn't wait any more 

J.A.R.V.I.S sent a video

Attachment: video 

[Rhodey pounding on a closed door. Yelling boi you best open this door. We are going to cuddle the shit out of each other and I am going to show you my photo albums. But if you don't let me in I am going to go get the suit and yeet your dumb ass across America. 

Door opens and an arm darts out to yank rhodey inside. 

Switch point of view: Inside the room now. 

Both if them attempting to wrap each other in a blanket burrito. It takes them 3 minutes to get comfortable. 

Rhodey beings to make his way through an old photo album. 

Video ends)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey just wantstony to know he's loved a lot okay??


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATES!!!! 
> 
> I was originally go along the mcu timeline starting after avengers. But that didn't happen so whatever

Happy’s phone, o.g chat. 

You have 50 unread messages. 

You have 70 unread messages 

You have 150 unread messages

Hogan: tech question. How do I mute the notifications ? 

Boss:it's the same as the last phone 

Hogan:no it's not. I wouldn't be asking if it was. 

Boss:yes it is. I didn't change that programming

Boss: because I know you struggle with this

Boss:I specifically didn't change that 

Boss:for you 

Boss: because you ask me this all the time

Boss:also don't mute the kid again. 

Boss:the last time you did that he almost died. 

Hogan:it's not for the kid 

Super boss: I can't go to the rest of my meetings

Boss: HA 

Boss: finally you get it 

Super boss: I'm not playing hookie. 

Boss: you definitely want to play hookie. 

Emergency contact: guys come on. Even I don't call it playing hookie. No one's that lame. 

Emergency contact: this isn't high school 

Emergency contact: just call it taking a sick day 

Emergency contact : or just walk out. 

Emergency contact: you are the CEO 

Super boss: I'm not playing hookie. 

Super boss: I can't go because I literally set the office on fire. 

Super boss: and broke my desk. 

Super boss: I almost killed a us military representative

Super boss: I am probably going to get arrested. 

Hogan: do I need to call the police? 

Emergency contact: ooo shit someone's in trouble 

Emergency contact: who's the asshole and what did he do. 

Super boss: you don't need to know. 

Emergency contact: oh shit. 

Boss: PEPPER 

Boss: I am supposed to be the mess in this relationship. You're normally cool as a vegetable 

Boss: are you OKAY?  
/////////  
Rhodes phone : private message with ally 

Rhodes: so what happened? 

Rhodes: I'm assuming it was some p bad shit that you want to keep from tony 

Ally: yes. 

Ally: the Idoit was trying to pressure me into reopening si weapons industry. He thought insulting tony, and trying to threaten me was a good idea. 

Rhodes: I'll file a report. If JARVIS sends over the video and the record of threats that turn out to be real, the brass might make a little bit of fuss but Probably won't press charges. 

Rhodes: everyone knows better than to threaten you 

Ally: thanks James. 

Rhodes: anything for my favorite exploding boo 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very very short angsty update. 
> 
> Eventurally my goal is to link the motherhen thor fic, housespouse tony, and two fics that I haven't posted yet: one explaining how tony and pepper fell into a d/s relationship. And one where natasha becomes fascinated by pepper and tonys relationships and admits to pepper that she doesn't understand the appeal of sex, it's just work to her. Eventually she, pepper, and tony end up in some sort of poly relationship. That being said. There are now going to be fic chapters in this relating to all of those fics.

O.g chat 

 

honey boo platypus fath: so I'm not saying I'm pissed 

An actually goddess: aww someone's jealous 

Honey boo platypus fath: I'm not jealous 

Honey boo platypus fath: it's just unacceptable that I have to share my cuddle buddy. 

An actual goddess sent a picture   
(Tony curled up with thor in a pile of blankets) 

I am ironman: why can't you be happy that I have friends who like me for once? 

Honey boo platypus fath: OF COURSE I'M FUCKING HAPPY FOR YOU DUMBASS I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO CUDDLE WITH MY BEST FRIEND BECAUSE I NEVER GET TO SEE YOU EXCEPT WHEN I'M ON LEAVE. 

I am ironman: oh 

An actual goddess: like I said jealous 

Honey boo platypus fath: SHUT UP PEPPER 

Honey boo platypus fath: YOU GET TO SEE HIM EVERY FUCKING DAY 

I am ironman: sorry 

I am ironman: I'll tell thor we can't cuddle Any more 

I am ironman: and Natasha 

I am ironman: rhodey you know I would do anything to keep your friendship 

I am ironman: I won't do it again 

I am ironman: I'm really sorry

Honey boo platypus fath: shit 

Honey boo platypus fath: that's not what I meant 

Honey boo platypus fath: I was joking tones 

Honey boo platypus fath: Tony? 

Honey boo platypus fath: fuck 

An actual goddess: won't this be a fun mess to sort out


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eventurally my goal is to link the motherhen thor fic, housespouse tony, and two fics that I haven't posted yet: one explaining how tony and pepper fell into a d/s relationship. And one where natasha becomes fascinated by pepper and tonys relationships and admits to pepper that she doesn't understand the appeal of sex, it's just work to her. Eventually she, pepper, and tony end up in some sort of poly relationship. That being said. There are now going to be fic chapters in this relating to all of those fics.

///////  
O.g chat

Rhodey's phone 

 

Rhodes: what the hell is going on with you two. 

Rhodes: this chat. Is dead. This chat IS NEVER DEAD. So what the fuck

The bodyguard: pepper and tony are taking a break. 

Rhodes: I'm sorry. I must be going crazy. 

Rhodes: I could have sworn you just said/pepper/ and /tony/ the love struck fools. Who have been. In love for literally decades. Are taking a break

The bodyguard: look. Things are really stressful right now. I've got a lot to do. 

Rhodes: I'm gonna show up and kick someone's ass. 

Rhodes: not sure who's ass I'm going to kick. But rest assured. I'm gonna kick someone's ass. Maybe both of them. And then get JARVIS to lock them in a closet together 

The bodyguard: please no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry. This chapter is linked directly to the fic I'll eventually post of how tony And pepper fell into a d/s relationship. Tony and pepper are just making sure they have a heathy relationship.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone has any prompts for this hit me up pleaseeeeee


End file.
